WAHOOOO! Pre-Op Was A Success! :)

WHEW! I am glad that major step is over!! After 4 1/2 hours at UCLA, I am now cleared for surgery! I lost 16 of my required 17 pounds and I was told they rarely see someone so healthy. The nurse told me once I get my weight off, I will be in awesome shape! That is so great to hear! When you are 200 pounds overweight and the media is pounding in to you the dangers of obeisity, you get scared! To my huge benefit, I am doing this while I am still young and the dangers haven't taken their toll yet! I have a feeling that I am doing this just in the nick of time!

The most amazing thing I found out is that my blood sugar has dropped from 120 to 99! WOW! Amazing what no fast food and exercise will do!

I am already planning my shopping expedition for new clothes...........IN NEW YORK!! God is so awesome! He has planned my surgery to coinside with JetBlue's new service from Burbank to JFK for $217 RT!!!!!!! Going to save $$$, WW points and time off so I can go to Barneys, Tiffanys and Jimmy Choos! If that isn't motivation, I don't know what is!

I will close this update with something I found on the coaster at this Brewery I was at last night...."Beauty is in the eye of the BEER HOLDER"! Words to live by!

Luv,
The soon to be thinner but poorer...Cynthia :) Like this post? Please share it, bookmark it or leave a comment.

February-The Month of Discovery!

Well, here we are at the end of February! Six months after I inquired about the surgery and I am scheduled to have it on March 15!! Wow! I prayed and prayed that if God didn't want this to happen, He would close the doors and let me be at peace with that! That SO hasn't happened!!! I know people who struggle for upwards of 2 years to get this surgery approved and it didn't even take me 6 months!!! I am so convinced that it is a God thing!! This whole process is! From the approvals to the relative ease I am having with exercising and eating right! He is so awesome!

But it isn't over by a long shot! I have my pre-op appointment on Friday and I am not sure how close i'll be to my inital weight loss goal. Last weekend at WW, I was up .4 for a total weight loss of 13.8. I have been real good this week! Drinking tons of water and not bingeing! I feel lighter, if that makes sense! I also swam 1 hour on Monday and I am going to shoot for that again tonight!

The success for me is in what I am learning about my body and the effects of what I put in it. I was excited to learn about protein and how not getting any affects my energy level! The day I had no protein I could barely swin a 1/2 hour much less my normal 45 minutes!! I am learning amazing things from my WONDERFUL WW leader, Rosie. For example, it takes 3,500 calories over your daily 1, 200 to gain a pound! So when I eat that one piece of chocolate (or 4 garlic rolls from Pizza Cookery) and feel like I have totally blown it, I probably haven't. That is, as long as get right back on the wagon! "It is not what you do, it is what you do NEXT", right Rosie?? :)

I also learned a HUGE lesson about sugar! I had a major indescretion that led me to feeling totally miserable for over 24 hours! I hadn't had processed sugar in over a month and went on a total feeding frenzy at a reception! I was eating lemon bars and making noises that shouldn't be made in public! So, I fought myself tooth and nail and went to the gym! Even though I couldn't get there until 10PM! I just wanted that junk out of my body and to never feel that way again!! I think about it when I start to eat sugar! I can't even start it because it is like alcohol to an alcoholic! So I have become real good about reading labels! The food industry has really sneaky ways of calling sugar things other than sugar. High fructose corn syrup and Corn syrup are the main culprits! Did you know that high fructose corn syrup is the first ingrediant on the McNugget sauce packet? READ LABELS!! I discovered my Just Chicken at Trader Joes wasn't on my WW plan because it was soaked in Pineapple juice! Who knew that Just Chicken wasn't just that! LOL!

That leads me to my next discovery: the evils of fast food! I have come to think of the fast food industry as one of my worst enemys. Now, there are fast food places that I can work with such as Koo Koo Roo and on some degree, El Pollo Loco. But as any one who as seen the movie "Super Size Me" knows, fast food is all around not good! Hidden sugar in most everything and they manipulate us like mad! So I just don't go there! We did an exercise in one of my pre-op classes at UCLA where we calculated the fat, calories and carbs of what we used to eat on a regular day. I added up my day where I would eat Carls Jr for breakfast and Taco Bell for dinner. 3,558 calories, 391 carbs and 154 fat grams!!! OH MY WORD!! Was that an eye opening exercise!

Afer cutting out most fast food (definately all burger and mexican ones) I realized that it wasn't the taste but the convenience that I needed. So my new fast food of choice is Trader Joes!! I love that place! I am in there just about every other day! I can find good ready to eat meals as well as great quick dinner ideas! I don't cook, I assemble. So I get their Just Shrimp and their Asian Stir Fry Veggies with the Soy Sauce. 6 minutes in a wok and I have enough for 2 meals. The whole meal is just 3 points and I can cut that out if I don't use the sauce! I sometimes even add the microwave brown rice (3 minutes and no points on the core WW plan). I have come to enjoy trying to make existing recipies core and finding quick and easy healthy meals that aren't boring!

I have also come to love my exercise! Thanks to the awesome support of my loving friend Dave, I am up to swimming at least 45 minutes a day, 3-4 days a week. I motivate myself by looking forward to the jacuzzi soak afterwards! I also use that 45 minutes as meditation or prayer time! It is so relaxing! The wonderful thing is that I am finding myself scheduling my social life around my exercise time! I almost turned down a chance to go to a hockey game because I wouldn't be able to go to the gym. I decided to go in the AM instead! I have to switch to walking next week as I can't swim for 6 weeks after surgery and had to freeze my gym membership 1st of the month. I am a little nervous about that as walking has always killed my knees and ankles. I am hoping new walking shoes will be the cure to that! I have never had a good pair of exercise shoes and have always used that as a crutch! Now I don't have a choice! I am going to try a 30 minute walk and see how it goes. If it doesn't, i'll just cut that time in 1/2 and see how that goes!

I can finally see light at the end of this tunnel! I am living a much healthier life and will continue to do so! My energy and self-esteem has skyrocketed just with the 13 pound loss. I don't think it is the loss as much as the fact I am finally making positive changes in my life! I am emailing Ryan Secreast asking for a date, reading my fashion magazines knowing that in a few months i'll be reading them for more than just makeup tips and just feeling all around great about life! But even more important is that i'll have a life to live! I'll be able to walk without pain and sleep through the night! I'll be able to sing more than a couple of words without being winded. I'll be a visable witness to the power of God! It doesn't get any better than that!

My 40th birthday is in June and I am giving myself the best gift ever! I feel I am giving myself a new lease on life! What a great reason to look forward to my 40s. After all, 40 IS the new 30!

More updates to come! Love to all!

Cynthia Like this post? Please share it, bookmark it or leave a comment.

The Past 6 Months-January

Well....I hit January with no set plan in how I was going to lose my weight! I was getting nervous! I was conscience of what I was eating and why, but knew I really needed to get on a plan that works and is sensible! So off to Weight Watchers I went! I started their "core" plan, which is eating lean meats, veggies, fruit, whole grains and non-fat dairy without counting or journaling. Then you have an bonus 35 points a week to play around with! It made sense! Eat healthy 95% of the time and then the other 5% of the time won't have that much of an impact! I lost 10 pounds and started to feel much better!

The real blessing came in the form of my dear friend Dave. He so graciously offered to not only be my accountablity partner in exercise but to help pay for my gym membership! I started on 1/8 swimming up the lane and then walking back. I did this for a half hour. After the first couple of weeks, swimming at least 4 days a week, I was feeling less winded as I walk and the knees and back felt stronger! It helped immensely knowing that he would be there to root me on. That and I would have a 15 minute soak in the jacuzzi waiting for me AFTER my swim! The jacuzzi soak has become the best part of my day!

More importantly is that I felt better about the surgery knowing I was getting a healthy lifestyle in place! I am starting to see this is really going to work and I am looking foward to the new me!

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The Past 6 Months--The Consultation

I can not believe it has been six months since I have written! There have been amazing changes and even more excitement is on the horizon!

First...the consultation! Mom and Brianna flew out from Arizona on the Friday before the consultation. We picked up Ally from Westlake and had a great weekend together! Saturday we went to the movies and bowling, Sunday we went out to Bucca Di Beppo with Mom's church gang and then out to Santa Monica. It was a real nice visit with no fighting or arguing! Mom was real supportive and maybe a little more nervous than I was!

Monday morning we are off to UCLA. I am the 2nd appointment of the day and when I get there the waiting room is packed! Some people smaller than me, some larger but all are waiting to here about a procedure that is bound to change their life!

Dr. Dutson was thorough in explaining the surgery and it's effects on weight and lifestyle. Mom asked him all the questions she needed to and I could tell she felt much better after hearing this isn't some "fly by the seat of their pants" outfit. After our questions were answered and a brief checkup, I met with Debbie, the nurse/program coordinator. It was then that I found out I had to lose 17-34 pounds before they will do surgery. This is 5-10% of my weight. They require this to not only get my lifestyle changes in place but to greatly decrease the risks of surgery! **sigh** Having to do this makes me more nervous than the surgery itself! So I weigh in: 340!!!
Wow! My highest weight ever!!! Ok...God has brought me to this, He will get me through it! I have to have these 17 pounds off by my tentative surgery date in March. I have to get it off sooner or later.

I felt encouraged and determined leaving UCLA! I could see light at the end of the tunnel for the first time in my life. I could begin to believe that nothing tastes as good as thin is going to feel! And feeling better is the focus! I can't wait until walking doesn't hurt and sleep come easy! But first, these 17 pounds had to come off in the face of Thanksgiving, a cruise and Christmas with my family. If I can overcome these obsticles, the rest should be relatively easy! :) Like this post? Please share it, bookmark it or leave a comment.

BIG NEWS!!

I FINALLY have my appointment at UCLA! Yahoo! I go to talk to the surgeon on 11/15! Yes, it is two months away but you all should see the list of things I have to do. Get medical records, make appointments with psychotherapists and getting approvals from my medical group to do those things! Never mind the fact that anyone with the word "psycho" in their title makes me nervous!



UCLA is very comprehensive! They require that you bring someone from your support team as well as a notebook so you have a place to store all the information you will be given throughout the process. A very cool thing is that my Mom offered to drive over from Arizona to come with me to the appointment! Given her voiced disapproval for this surgery and our rocky history, I was blown away. She felt that this was a time where a mom could be of comfort! I would have cried had I not been so stunned!



So things are moving right along. I hope the pyschotherapist doesn't deem me mentally unstable. But then again, if I can hide it from all of you, I can hide it from anybody! LOL!



Luv,

the future surf diva!

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Wow!

I initially thought this would be a journey to good physical health. What I

am finding is that this journey to good physical health has to also include

a journey to good mental health. I am not sure which is harder.



I have been thinking for sometime how I got this way. Denial was a huge

part of this. It was impossible for me to think of myself as fat. I pushed

those thoughts out of my head! Until now, I never thought of myself as

fat. I never looked in the mirror and hated to see myself in pictures. I

would always be the one behind the camera and never in front of it. As long

as I had the prom date, the social life, the good job at Disney and as long

as cute clothes were made in my size, I could deny the fact I was morbidly

obese. I was so terrified of facing this demon that I would panic at the

thought of a weekend alone. So I became a workaholic. If I was working, I

wasn't home alone with food and the feelings it medicated.



I would blame everyone else. If it wasn't my fault, than I didn't have to

be accountable. I could blame my natural mother for giving me up for

adoption. However, I know that she gave me up as an ultimate act of love. I

believe it would have been easier for her to keep me in poverty rather than

give me up in hopes of a better life for me. I could blame my adoptive

parents for getting a divorce but I think it would have been more miserable

for all involved if they had stayed together. I could blame any number of

friends who have left me along the way but that wouldn't be holding my

anger and all around miserable behavior into account.



Accountability. It is what has brought me to the discovery that I have no

one to blame for the 180 pd weight gain than myself. Food was the boyfriend

I never had, the parents I felt didn't love me, the promotion I didn't get,

the cure to loneliness and boredom. I had been eating to fill the "God

sized whole" that only He could fill, then denying the fact I did this.

Only since I have had God in my life have I been awoken to the fact that I

had been in denial all my adult life! Not only do I admit to having a

serious problem, but know who I need to help me take care of it!



This surgery is a God given gift for a second chance. I am blessed to have

this opportunity and denial won't be standing between me, God and success!



:)





















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A Lesson In Patience

God is so awesome! I thought He was using this weight loss surgery as way for me to get healthy. And I still believe this is true. However, being the supreme multi-tasker that he is, I also believe he is using it to a lesson I have still yet to learn. Patience is a virtue!



Patience for me just doesn't exsist! I have very little. I want it all and NOW! Especially in this case! See, I was hoping that since the other two referrals came through quickly that this one to UCLA would as well. However, it has been over a week since I last heard from them. They directed me to the web where I downloaded a 10 questionaire. They use this to determine eligibility for the surgery. I faxed it to them on 8/5 and now I wait!



I am not wasting the time! I am researching on the net, talking to people and going to seminars to find out all I can about the surgery, its risks and its sucesses! I am using the time to keep praying that this is Gods will, not mine! I am also using this time to think back on how I got to this point! I'll write more about that tomorrow but the point is that I am actually grateful to have this time.



A very wise and wonderful friend once told me that "Gods timing is perfect". It is! I cling to those words all the time as I struggle with patience. I know that when I am ready mentally and physically to have this surgery, God will open the doors. Until then, I keep waiting and researching!



To be continued.........



The future healthy me :)

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