Another Friday Night

Ok...I am just going to say it: I am desperate and dateless. I am spending another weekend without male company. I am working, hanging out with dear and wonderful girlfriends, relaxing in the safe and loving company of my joyful dogs. But not dating. That my friends has got to change.

I had an ephiphany lately: I have been hiding behind my weight. Hiding because of the fear of rejection and even more strong, the fear of NOT being rejected. Getting close to someone is scary! I slowly started to think about this after the Mayercraft cruise. There we were on deck, Saturday Night and about 15 guys in bathrobes come up and want to party with us! All kinds of guys! Your first reaction may have been "sweet merciful God, Hallelujah". Mine was to run like Hell into the girls room out of fear! Talk about an Ah Ha moment! It was then I realized that my lack of male companionship has nothing to do with my weight. The weight isn't the issue, the issue is me!

Here's the thing: If I just don't get over this I will be looking back at my life and realize I have never had the joy of living with someone who can't seem to put the seat down or his socks in the hamper. I will have lived without the experience of having a partner, someone who can appreciate me for who I am and share this experience we call life. And lets face it, a little pleasure every once in awhile from someone that isn't battery operated wouldn't be such a bad thing either!

So I have signed up on the dating website and it has been a learning experience! I put my pic up there and I get hits. Guys are interested! So what people have been telling me is true: there are guys out there that like the bigger women! Hurray! My friend has had success on the same site and she is willing to help me so I am going to take advantage of that! Revise my profile...start chatting...I swear ....this weekend! Guys aren't going to walk in my living room and ask what time Greys Anatomy is on, no they aren't! I am going to have to make an effort to get out there and just do this! Date...meet men..find someone! I am going to turn into a dating machine! If anything I will change the names to protect the guilty and turn it into great material for the blog.

Stay tuned...this is going to get interesting!

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